Every Mother's Lie

Tirzah Burke
May 28
4 min read

I must do and be everything.

It seems to be a common truth that at some point or another, every mother believes this lie. Some women live their whole lives in it. The lie goes way beyond the "Martha" mentality (from the Martha/ Mary sisterhood dynamic) of feeling pressure to be task-oriented and accommodating. It tells you that you must be unfailingly strong for family, and friends, meet and exceed their every need, hunger, and desire. Ensure your children's happiness, education, and personal growth. All with grace, forgiveness, and patience.

The insidious nature of this lie is that in the very act of self-sacrifice, giving up time, energy, self-care, and personal dreams in the pursuit of this lie, mothers unintentionally commit the sin of trying to be God. For only He is unfailingly strong. Only He ensures the future wellbeing of your children. Only He has perfect grace and patience and forgiveness.

"The insidious nature of this lie is that in the very act of self-sacrifice, giving up time, energy, self-care, and personal dreams in the pursuit of this lie, mothers unintentionally commit the sin of trying to be God."

There is a second lie, perhaps less commonly recognized, that mothers also fall into:

I can't do anything.

This lie can come about in a number of ways. Maybe it's from unhealthy relationships with family or friends who have put you down or told you that you're weak or stupid. We take it to heart, especially when the words come from a loved one, even our own children or partner. Or maybe it's from fighting and losing too many battles. You come to a point where you simply believe you are incapable. Or maybe it's from believing the first lie, and when it inevitably fails, you find yourself completely overwhelmed and crash land into the belief that you are helpless, drowning yourself in Starbucks and Netflix in order to shut everything else out and pretend it's all fine.

Here's the deal:

You have never been strong enough because HE is your strength.

Here's the deal:

Because of HIM, you are stronger than you know.

The truth is that there is a fierceness inside of you that God put there, and that the enemy wants to either misdirect or crush.

You were built for hard work.

Hard, spiritual work.

Let's look at two Biblical moms as an example of how to do this: Hannah and Mary.

These are two women in opposite circumstances-

One who could not have a baby but wanted one desperately.

One who should not be having a baby and got what she didn't ask for.

Despite their contrary situations, these two women handle themselves in strikingly similar ways.

1. They pray.

2. They sing.

3. They trust God implicitly with their child.

There are only four songs written by women in the entirety of scripture, and two were by mothers specifically in regards to their motherhood. I want to take a closer look at each of these songs, because speaking personally, when life throws me a complete curve ball and I find circumstances to be the opposite of what I had anticipated and planned for, singing is not what I turn to.

Did you catch the similarities?

Hannah praises God. Her strength comes from God. She acknowledges that she faces real enemies in this world, but she speaks boldly against them because she is secure in God's salvation.	Mary praises God. She has real enemies; she faces probable persecution, judgement, and rejection. But she speaks boldly about how God is blessing her in a way she can't yet see.
Hannah pauses to describe God's onmnipotence. His complete power over destiny. The way He watches over the weak, vulnerable, and humble. She portrays His character and the history of knowledge she has of Him.	Mary pauses to describe God's onmnipotence. His complete power over destiny. The way He watches over the weak, vulnerable, and humble. She portrays His character and the history of knowledge she has of Him.
Hannah speaks life over the future, prophesying the coming of the king. Though she doesn't know it yet, her child Samuel marks the arrival of Israel's first king.	Mary speaks life over the future, prophesying the coming of the King. Though she doesn't know it yet, her son Jesus marks the arrival of Israel's last King.

Moms, grab hold of this. This is our instruction manual.

To praise him for who He is.

To portray His character, both the attributes we've personally seen in Him and those we speak in faith to be true about Him.

To prophesy life and the coming of the King in the lives of our children and family.

We aren't called to do everything. But we are called to spiritual warfare over the lives of our children. And not only are we called, we are equipped for it. We have the tools, weapons, and God's strength behind it.

I urge you to write your own song. You don't have to be a musician. You don't have to be a singer. That's not the point. The point is that this is your warfare over your family. Praise Him, portray Him, and speak life. Speak Jesus. Hannah was not afraid to weep. Mary was not afraid to tuck things deep within her heart. Let us travail in the way we were intended to, and let God be the strength of our lives.

My song:

My soul glorifies the Lord with honor

and my heart sings praise in His presence.

For His name has conquered darkness in my life,

and it stands alone as holy forever.

My heart has never known another like Him;

My eyes have never seen His equal.

He has allowed the trial of fire in my life,

but He passed through the flames by my side.

He has done mighty miracles,

and he has also stayed His hand;

He has spoken thundering over the caverns of my heart,